


The time Grace talks to Steve about her periods and it doesn’t go well

by Ionaonie



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-24
Updated: 2011-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-28 00:33:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/301784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ionaonie/pseuds/Ionaonie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes the only thing that will make you feel better are pancakes and breaking your dad's pesudo-boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The time Grace talks to Steve about her periods and it doesn’t go well

**Author's Note:**

> Betaed by tahariel and thisissirius

Grace yanked open the door to her room and stomped through the living room, into the kitchen, not quite sure what she wanted to eat, but needing _something_. Ice cream was a distinct possibility. Even this early in the morning.

‘Wow. You’re up early,’ said Steve from the patio doors. ‘After last night I kind of assumed we wouldn’t be seeing you until midday.’

‘Yes, well,’ she huffed. ‘That had been the plan.’

Her dad had collapsed in Steve’s guest room pretty much as soon as they had arrived for movie night. Chin and Kono both looked exhausted too, but they had made it through the movie before leaving. Steve had stayed up and watched another movie with Grace since she wasn’t even a little bit tired. He hadn’t even seemed all that tired either - Grace assumed it was one of those freaky things he had learnt in the SEALs - and he had told her a bit about the case and how hard her dad had worked and why he was so tired and he had promised that they would make it up to her the next day (Grace still found it hilarious that neither Steve nor her dad found it weird that they promised her things together when they - despite all evidence to the contrary - weren’t together. Christ, she already her own room at Steve’s place. How could they be this clueless?).

She had meant to sleep in, let Steve be disgustingly awake so early in the morning, and wake about the same time as her dad so they could hang out on the beach before she had to go back to her mom and Step-Stan. Her body, though, had had different plans. God, she hated being thirteen.

He kicked off his sneakers and made his way over to the kitchen, eying her the entire time. ‘You okay? You seem a little...’ He trailed off, unsure, and waved his hand.

‘Moody, annoyed, hack off, pissed off, angry, irritated...do any of these fit the bill?’ she snapped.

Steve’s eyes widened slightly and Grace nearly felt sorry for him but she felt far too crappy to give a damn at the moment.

‘How about all of the above?’ ventured Steve, smiling tentively.

She scowled, hefting herself up onto one of the stools in the kitchen, closing her eyes briefly as her stomach cramped, her back spasmed and her thighs just plain ached. She wrapped her arms around her stomach and rested her forehead on the counter, wishing for painkillers or an early death. At the moment, an early death was winning out.

She felt Steve move over to her and his hand fell gently onto her shoulder. ‘Hey, Gracie,’ he said softly, rubbing the base of her neck gently, ‘what’s wrong?’

‘My period started last night,’ she moaned. ‘And now I feel as though my stomach is about to explode. Why do I have to have them? They suck. All they do is make me feel all crappy. I get in terrible moods for no reason. I snap at people. There have even been a couple of times I’ve nearly started crying. For. No. Good. Reason. And then that pisses me off even more. I feel all tired and itchy. And the pain. My stomach. My back. My thighs. What kind of evil makes over 50% of your body hurt so much all at once? And if I forget to take the painkillers before my period starts, I’m in pain for days. And apparently exercise is supposed to help but so far it hasn’t, unless I’m going it wrong. Like, suddenly being on my period means I’ve don’t know how to run anymore or how to throw a ball. I can’t go swimming and I love swimming. And surfing. Because, although mom has told me all about tampons and stuff, they kind of freak me out so I threw them all away and I don’t want any more, I just want this week to be over so my period can be over and I can stop feeling like this all the damn time.’

She took a deep breath, feeling better for the first time in ages. Well, her stomach was still killing her, but other than that, she felt much better. That had been building for a while, she thought. Her mom was great, but she was being so busy being all understanding and ‘you can talk to me about anything’ that she wasn’t actually listening to Grace. And Grace had read the books, but you can’t ask a book questions or just rant at it.

She sat there for a moment, just breathing, enjoying the quiet. After a moment or two she became aware that things were too quiet, especially considering the fact that Steve’s hand was still on her neck, even if it wasn’t moving.

She twisted her neck around so her cheek was resting on the cool tile of the counter and looked at Steve. He was staring at her, mouth just a little bit open, as though in a silent scream. His eyes were wide and, somehow, he had turned pale. Underneath all that suntan he was definitely pale. Kind of vampire pale.

She propped herself up on an elbow, frowning. ‘Steve, are you okay?’

A slightly strangled noise escaped him, but nothing intelligible. Nothing even remotely intelligible. Suddenly she burst out laughing, surprising herself. Steve still hadn’t actually moved or said anything, other than that slight ‘nnuuurrrghhh’ noise.

She sat up fully, still laughing and Steve’s arm fell uselessly to his side. Most of her pain was forgotten in light of Steve.

‘Danno,’ she yelled, wondering if that might snap Steve out of it. ‘Danno, come here, come here. Quick.’

And she must have sounded rather urgent despite the obvious laughter in her voice because her dad burst out of the guest room at top speed, still looking half asleep, with his hair sticking up from all directions. His gun was in his hand, but seeing Steve standing there, he placed it on the table after putting the safety on.

He cocked his head slightly, staring at Steve who hadn’t moved when he entered the room like there were a thousand kick boxers on his tail. ‘What’s up, Gracie? Where’s the fire?’

She nodded at Steve. ‘I think I broke him.’

Her dad raised an eyebrow. ‘And what magical powers do you have that none of the terrorists of the world, nor I, possess?’

‘Menstruation.’

By now her dad was standing next to her staring at Steve, who still hadn’t moved.

‘Seriously?’ He waved a hand in front of Steve’s face. ‘Periods?’

She nodded. ‘Periods.’

‘You riding the crimson wave is the great Steve McGarrett’s kryptonite?’

She shrugged, seriously struggling to keep the smile off her face. ‘Apparently.’

And for maybe half a second her dad tried to keep a straight face but he was never going to succeed, which is how he ended up holding onto the counter and howling with laughter. He was holding his stomach and there were honest to God tears falling down his face. And she’s laughing with him, because, really, Steve is standing next to her, apparently frozen in horror at the mention of her period - and she had thought Stan was terrible and awkward - and her dad is nearly sitting on the floor, laughing. It’s impossible not to find that funny.

It’s that, more than anything else, she thinks, that brings Steve back to himself with a bit of a shake. He spares her dad a glare, but really, he’s so used to her dad laughing at him that he ignores it. Instead Steve turns imploring eyes on her and she thinks she’s never seen him look so desperate. ‘Please, Grace, if you love me even a little bit, never, ever talk about that again. Please.’

And her dad was still laughing, although it had ended up kind of breathless, like he forgot to breath it was so funny and he was looking up at Steve, his eye crinkling like they do when someone he loves has done or said something impossibly ridiculous.

She nodded, a little bewildered. ‘Okay. Sure. Umm, sorry?’

And that seemed to shake him out of whatever shock he was still suffering because he was smiling again and drawing her gently into a hug. ‘It’s fine. Just. I’ll tell you one day, when you’re a little bit older.’

‘Oh, I better be getting this story way earlier than Gracie’s sixteenth birthday,’ said her dad, still breathless from all the laughing but finally leaning against the counter, instead of about to fall on the floor in a graceless heap.

Grace twisted in Steve’s arms so she could glare at her dad. ‘That’s three years away. Why do I have to wait that long?’

‘Because, baby, this is a Steve McGarrett story and it made him freeze in fear.’ He jabbed his finger at Steve. ‘This is the man who jumps off building. Stands toe to toe with some of the craziest, nastiest terrorists in the world. Doesn’t bat an eyelid at the prospect of breaking police procedure to catch a bad guy -’ and, God, but did her dad bring that up in every argument he and Steve ever had ‘- and the mere mention of your period stopped him cold. There is nothing in that story that is going to be suitable for your ears until you’re at least forty.’

‘He’s probably right,’ said Steve, pulling away from her, but not before bestowing a kiss on the top of her head.

‘Of course, I’m right,’ scoffed her dad, as he opened the fridge and started rummaging around. He looked at her. ‘Pancakes for your stomach?’ She nodded enthusiastically. Why her dad’s pancakes helped she didn’t know, but help they did. ‘How could I not be right? I’m always right when it comes to your crazy ass.’

She laughed at the face Steve pulled behind her dad’s back. And laughed even harder when her dad called, ‘I saw that.’

As her dad started cooking her pancakes, Steve pushed over a glass of juice (pineapple, obviously) and three ibuprofen. ‘Thought they might help until your pancakes are up.’

And she leant forward to kiss him on the cheek before downing the pills and the juice and sitting back to watch the comedy unfold of her dad and Steve cooking breakfast together on a Sunday morning.


End file.
